must....


write....


every....


single....


thought....

block, writer's

dialogue

early morning dialogue in your head:
awake self: wake up
sleepy self: mmmm... two more mins

two mins later ( actually in dream world 2 hours)
awake self: wake up
sleepy self: mmmm... why??? let me sleep ..
awake self: you need to meet your proffessor
sleepy self: he has not responded to my email yet
awake self: you need to go to the bank
sleepy self: i can go tomorrow
awake self: you need to do your morning yoga
sleepy self: skip one day no big deal
awake self: thats what you said yesterday
sleepy self: just one more day no big deal
awake self: you seem to be awke since your having such clear thoughts. wake up
sleepy self: (groggy) two more mins .

less of me..

more of everyone else...

Just him and me

Me, I long to close my eyes even if it is to blink. His smile. His eyes when it flashes anger. A tiny little fruit fly. His long fingers as he pushes his crunchy hair. The way he sips from a bottle of ‘dew’. Everything about him flashes before me like glimpse from a favorite movie. Each day as the sun rises I’m unwilling to open my eyes to break yet another wonderful dream of a faraway home. Just him and me. But what is a dream unless you wake up and live it right? So I endure each dreaded day till the time I get to be with him. Just him and me.

I see him. He is coming towards me. Finally that part of the day again. He is moving closer and my mind is racing. I’m thinking about every moment we spent together and the good, the bad, the entire package. Does he love me? Does he love me as much as I love him? Does he think I’m pretty? Will he like my dress? Paranoid! Okay I’ll give myself the last one but I’m thinking. Get a grip it is not judgment day! Take a deep breath and smile. And don’t say anything stupid. He is carrying his bag. Strange. The bag makes noise! More Strange! You jump out of it!

So adorable! He thinks so too. Tiny paws and chatoyant eyes. Cute! Really cute! But I wonder why I felt so strange. Haven’t felt this way before. Falling asleep on his arm. Comfy isn’t it? Tell me about it! Think you see something move. Jump up, to the side and up again. Hey… Wake up. Excuse me. Stretch. Yawn. Yea that’s right.

I don’t wish I were a butterfly. I don’t want a diamond necklace. I just want him to hold my hand. Look at me. I’m sitting right here. No one can dislike you. I know. Like I said you are tiny. Such a lazy darling. However I want to look only at him what do I see. I am seeing all that love poured into you in those few minutes. All that is mine. Share and care mom said. Care ?Sure. Share. May be. Him NO way!

You might not know this now. But it is hard to accept. Tell him . Ask him. See if he listens to you. On my god! It just dawned on me. I’m crazy. I’m insane. I’m paranoid. But also, I’m jealous. I can’t explain it. No one can. I envy you my tiny friend. And I don’t even know your name.

2230 hrs

18^th march 2007.

holy cow.!

We were sitting at the IC long ago discussing "4edge" related stuff when this calf decided to investigate what two people sitting in such a faraway corner were up to. It was a dirty little thing. I muttered under my breath 'Don't come any closer if you knows whats best for you'. But Obviously it was a Cow and didn't know any better.After a few minutes we realized that the Stupid thing was chewing on our MT notes !! Swank placed one swift kick in the face. With a hurt expression and the notes still in its mouth it goes running towards the herd.Prbably benefited more from the notes than we did anyway. We always consider books to be holy and by analogy since cows eat those we know now Holy Cow .