Just him and me

Me, I long to close my eyes even if it is to blink. His smile. His eyes when it flashes anger. A tiny little fruit fly. His long fingers as he pushes his crunchy hair. The way he sips from a bottle of ‘dew’. Everything about him flashes before me like glimpse from a favorite movie. Each day as the sun rises I’m unwilling to open my eyes to break yet another wonderful dream of a faraway home. Just him and me. But what is a dream unless you wake up and live it right? So I endure each dreaded day till the time I get to be with him. Just him and me.

I see him. He is coming towards me. Finally that part of the day again. He is moving closer and my mind is racing. I’m thinking about every moment we spent together and the good, the bad, the entire package. Does he love me? Does he love me as much as I love him? Does he think I’m pretty? Will he like my dress? Paranoid! Okay I’ll give myself the last one but I’m thinking. Get a grip it is not judgment day! Take a deep breath and smile. And don’t say anything stupid. He is carrying his bag. Strange. The bag makes noise! More Strange! You jump out of it!

So adorable! He thinks so too. Tiny paws and chatoyant eyes. Cute! Really cute! But I wonder why I felt so strange. Haven’t felt this way before. Falling asleep on his arm. Comfy isn’t it? Tell me about it! Think you see something move. Jump up, to the side and up again. Hey… Wake up. Excuse me. Stretch. Yawn. Yea that’s right.

I don’t wish I were a butterfly. I don’t want a diamond necklace. I just want him to hold my hand. Look at me. I’m sitting right here. No one can dislike you. I know. Like I said you are tiny. Such a lazy darling. However I want to look only at him what do I see. I am seeing all that love poured into you in those few minutes. All that is mine. Share and care mom said. Care ?Sure. Share. May be. Him NO way!

You might not know this now. But it is hard to accept. Tell him . Ask him. See if he listens to you. On my god! It just dawned on me. I’m crazy. I’m insane. I’m paranoid. But also, I’m jealous. I can’t explain it. No one can. I envy you my tiny friend. And I don’t even know your name.

2230 hrs

18^th march 2007.